4.07.2010

A few words about the iPad.



All weekend I had managed to avoid the Apple store for fear that I might succumb to the siren song of the iPad, the ridiculous name and all. I reasoned that this was a device for which I literally had no need. Guilt would follow an impulse purchase.

But this week I felt strongly the pull of Jobs, and I found myself with an iPad this evening.

The second I "unboxed" the tablet, the air around me became remarkably free of allergens, my plants spontaneously grew half an inch, and my surgically repaired left knee rid itself of that pesky grinding sensation at full extension. Later I found that my bookshelves had ordered themselves into a category-and-author arrangement, and that the ring around the toilet had disappeared.

The user experience can best be described as that of the iPhone/iPod Touch, augmented by a psychedelic state of pure bliss and fulfillment, and a palpable sense of achievement every single time you swipe your finger across the glass.

There are frankly way too many applications available in the store to distract you from the obvious pastime of staring at the home screen until it goes dark, and then turning it on again.

The battery life is such that it actually generates surplus voltage that can be used to recharge the computer that has the honor of syncing with the iPad. And if this computer is a Mac and it is connected to your wall outlet, it will roll back your power bill and possibly earn you a decent living as a net producer of electricity into the grid.

I will report any further insights as I gain knowledge of its wonders and intentions.

And no, I have no buyer's remorse. The iPad has made guilt obsolete. It is carved from a billet of hope and assembled by a team of Chinese angels. It shall lift the veil of ignorance off the huddled masses and reveal to them the wonderment and spectacle that is the world.

...

Those looking for more objectivity: Ars Technica, Gizmodo, Engadget.

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