Flashback: Maui

Things to do in Hana, Part Deux

Flashback: Ko Tao

The train pulled into Chumphon just before five in the morning, an hour later than scheduled. I waited in a flourescent-lit bus depot with a number of other foreigners and their big backpacks. An hour later a "digital bus" took us to the ferry, which then motored for three hours across a calm sea. Representatives of diving outfits courted the foreigners on board. I was not bothered by anyone other than a Brit named Guy; the Thais seem to believe that the Asian foreigners speak no English and, in any case, have had their tour all booked in advance.

On the ride out to Chalok Ban Kao beach I decided I would get my advanced open water certification while on Ko Tao. I was tired, dirty and hungry. It was the path of least resistance.

I spent the rest of the day getting clean and walking around a bit. By the end of the day I felt miserable and a little lonely. Then I fell asleep and had my first full night's sleep since arriving in Thailand. Once I had slept for thirteen hours I felt superb.

Back in Bangkok, I had seen a toad on the sidewalk and taken it as a sign of the latitude. On Ko Tao, while attempting a shower in the morning, I was greeted by a spider the size of my hand. When I tried to kill it, the beast demonstrated supernatural speed and went away into a corner in the shower. Its size was such that its movements could be heard. I then saw a foot-long gecko next to the spider.

The next day a second spider of similar stature turned up in another corner. Later that afternoon the two joined above the sink in apparent copulation. This was too much to bear. I switched rooms.

And now, as I type this, there are ants coming out of my keyboard with each keystroke. If this is biodiversity, then let the earth be damned.

Flashback: MBK Center

I spent my last day in Bangkok confined to a gigantic shopping mall called MBK Center.

I had earlier left my backpack at the train station and then visited Chinatown, only to find that it was simply too hot and that it was, well, a Chinatown. MBK Center promised air conditioning and an authentic Bangkok experience, because modern Bangkokers who can afford it spend their time in big malls.

Unless the people here figure out how to air-condition the whole of Bangkok, I'm afraid this mall thing will continue to thrive. I killed four hours shopping for a pair of cheap sunglasses. I managed one for 99 baht, but by then the six-floor mall had completely defeated this hardened semi-native of New Jersey. I then left the mall and stepped into the dense steam outside. I lost liters of sweat in minutes. It was raining, but I swear the raindrops were just forming in place and sticking to my body. I got the hell back to the train station and waited for my ride out of the city.

Recent developments in this world

A Wall Street firm managed to orchestrate among its counterparties a sudden and complete loss of faith in its financial health, and found itself dead in the water overnight. Capitalism revealed itself (again) to be a religion supported mostly by faith. I propose we begin working on an economy based on hope, or love.

Alex's father recently passed away from pancreatic cancer. In all he had only two weeks to ready himself. Four weeks ago there was the news, reluctantly received through his son Alex, who had practically dragged him to the hospital. Then there was a rapid decline, followed by a short but labored passing that Alex found difficult to witness.

May Egon rest in peace.

Live Free, Die Hard: A Synopsis

Bruce Willis steps into a high-but-not-high-enough-budget film fathered by a deadbeat Apple commercial and reared by the Department of Homeland Security before being sent away to boring school in New Hampshire. Death and destruction follow in Detective McLane's footsteps. A Ryan Seacrest-lookalike cyberterrorist employs a trailer full of dorks who hack into the central systems of major national and global institutions, much to the dismay of the dorks manning the stadium-sized control rooms. South Asians are hard to spot among the actors playing the dorks, and this reminds the audience that they are watching fiction. Everything else in the movie is convincingly realistic. Macintosh overcomes his innate pussiness, but PC is nowhere to be found. It turns out that McLane's daughter was once spared a horrible death by a vivid premonition of a roller coaster accident, but you can't cheat death, you see; it will take you one way or another to the Final Destination 4.

What? Oh yes. I did not last until the end.