Letchworth Smokestack

Band of Hardware Covers Radiohead, Causes Orgasm

If you have some semblance of taste, you may come a little bit (as I did) when you see this.


Big Ideas (don't get any) from James Houston on Vimeo.

Cycle Chic's got me hot and bothered

I am moving to Copenhagen ASAP.

One need not ask a kid to pose for a photograph

I am turning into an unbearable sap, or a Christian, or both

Just an observation, based on my current obsession with Sufjan Stevens and the Innocence Mission.

My favorite Sufjan song is "John Wayne Gacy, Jr.," which may suggest that I am turning into a serial killer.

As for the Mission, I absolutely cannot stop listening to "Tomorrow on the Runway." I am also fond of long walks on the beach and eating a quart of strawberry ice cream in one sitting. Call me, ladies.

6:30 A.M.

After a particularly serious bout of insomnia, I got on my folding bike and rode up a mostly empty Amsterdam Ave. to Morningside Heights. I then got the following from Absolute Bagels, which had just opened for business.



It was hot; it was chewy; it was absolutely what I had been looking for.

Copenhagen Cycling Chic

I've found the best blog EVAH. It's called Copenhagen Cycling Chic: Streetstyle & Advocacy from the World's Cycling Capital. For a while I totally thought this was a blog devoted to lovely ladies on wheels, which it sort of is, but there seems to be more to it than that.

I got your freaking rating right here

So it seems clear now that, as expected, the world economy as we know it is coming to an end.

Naturally, we need a culprit. Here is my nomination: the credit rating agencies. I am not saying they caused this mess single-handed, but I don't think there is any other party that annoys me more at this time than this collection of buffoons that purports to know all about the default risk of things.

But not all is lost. In a world where money means nothing, monkeys will serve us for edamame. And by the time civilization recovers from the Credit Near-Extinction Event of 2008-3058, they will have written a new canon of literature that our successors will cherish forever.

My earlier promise to not write about the economy ... I am defaulting on that promise. Blow me.

Now, let's give them typewriters

A genuine breakthrough: monkey waiters.

Crapitalism

Capitalism
n. An economic system in which the means of production and distribution are privately or corporately owned and development is proportionate to the accumulation and reinvestment of profits gained in a free market. [American Heritage Dictionary]

Crapitalism
n. An economic system in which most people would rather stuff their cash under a mattress than lend it to anyone else; the means of production and distribution are either explicitly nationalized or significantly subsidized by the government; deflation marches on despite last-ditch efforts by central banks around the world to slap the markets back into shape; and any chump with a computer feels free to rant about the economy to no one in particular. [The Have-Not Dictionary]

Dead Horse Bay

We drove down Flatbush Avenue until we saw the airfield to the left and the bay to the right. We parked in Floyd Bennett and crossed the street to the path. Near the beach a man told us that the fishing was no good.









Metal objects littered the top of the beach, and glass filled the waterline. A dog belonging to an unwise man was running around unleashed.

Ok, I lied

I know I promised to not write any more about finance or the economy, but I just came across a fabulous investment opportunity called Strategery Capital. Unlike most hedge funds, this one accepts all investors. In fact, you do not have a choice but to participate.

I think they need another slogan. Maybe: "All your money are belong to us."

Why the economy does not matter; or, rather, why me writing about the economy does not matter

During the latter half of September, I have ranted quite a bit about the sorry demise of my former employer, and the crumbling economy.

But I now feel compelled to return to my usual topics. Thanks in no part to my recent efforts, the entire world (which includes my mom, my grandma, and your grandma) is now aware of the credit crisis and the coming "venison bubble" (in which the world -- reduced to hunting, gathering and bartering, and helped by the new crop of "investment banks" staffed by Mad Max / Waterworld extras -- overvalues the juicy meat of the common Garden State deer (superior in most ways to the common Garden State squirrel, but inferior to the racoon; who knew!)).

So, dear reader, please anticipate a fresh new crop of posts devoted not to the economy but to more important things, like ... hmm, I'll get back to you.

The meltdown, now in progress

So the Republicans voted down the Paulson bailout. The Dow was down a couple hundred before the vote, and is now down more than 500.

Now people are starting to question the wisdom of the Fed's no-bailout policy, which lasted precisely a single weekend, coinciding with the death of my employer.

The timing of Lehman's downfall

I've been wondering why Lehman had to file for bankruptcy when it did. At least one other person is asking the same: "But there's a big question that remains unanswered about Lehman: what triggered the filing?"

The Paulson Tragedy

"My name is Henry Paulson and I run the Treasury. And I don’t mean to make you panic, but if you do not give me a balance sheet that can hold $700 billion on it, and unlimited funding, than [sic] the economy will die. That’s right it will die."

Pictured: a young Paulson holding a prototype of the bailout plan

The Poetry of Rumsfeld

As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.

--Donald Rumsfeld in a Department of Defense news briefing, Feb. 12, 2002

Dead cat bounce, global edition.

Things are looking up today. People were working for the first time in a while. We are conducting the digital equivalent of moving to a new apartment. Notably, we are leaving most derivatives behind. Our new landlord is Barclays Capital, and they don't want to have sort through that mess.

I noticed that we are no longer getting paper cups in the pantry. The cafeteria is slowly shutting down. It is unwinding its positions in cheese and deli meats.

I am trying to unwind my position in my cafeteria debit card before the market becomes completely illiquid. I may attack the vending machines if I get really desperate.

The stock market bounced big. But the Pakistani market bounced, too, after banning short selling.

Popular sentiment and John McCain seem to agree that the bailouts are a bad thing. Maybe they are right, but the argument should focus on the execution rather than the morality. For those asking, "Why should the Fed get involved in propping up insolvent banks?", here is one answer.

And I do find it funny that Lehman was the only bank that died under the Fed's no-bailouts policy, which lasted all of three days. Now we have a policy that collects the nasty stuff from all the ailing players out there and creates a universal Bad Bank out of the Fed. Who will be holding this stuff when we discover their true price? I hope this works, but if it doesn't ... well, you know.

Cats will save the world

Maybe things will be fine. Here is why. The market for cuteness is alive and well.

Things to ponder while stocking up on Spam and ammo

This should prove that I am, by comparison, an optimist.

Here I have compiled some of the most interesting articles about this debacle.